Who do you want me to be? And why? ​

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I asked why before I asked who I could be, and that's why I describe myself as an artist and not solely an actor. The feedback is always there seems to be everything but what do you do or what do you want to do? Interdisciplinary is a good word, but, there isn't enough of everything. Or there is, and it's too much to be expressed at once. 

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Being the medium I know best my work and life is about heading in the direction of unapologetic and authentic expression. It is true that this has often been deemed highly unnecessary. Honestly, at times I wish I could agree that it is as unnecessary as the world often considers it to be. Time is of the essence and output is more important than inquiry when we keep racing, and competing, and proving ourselves. However, I want the ideas to all connect. I want to discover how they might. I want to take up time and space. I want to enter multiple battlefields and risk it all, arrive at the sharpest edge, feel the incredibly dangerous pressure, and then save myself just before it becomes too much. To hang on by a thread, to embrace the solitude, to know at once what it is like to want to connect deeply with everything and everyone, and simultaneously disconnect entirely and become a fiction in this world full of contradiction. 

 

I am child-like and also ancient. I am recklessly responsible. I commit strongly to my lack of commitment. I try my very best whilst doing absolutely nothing and when I feel too much I act like I don't feel anything at all. Asceticism and hedonism go hand in hand.

 

I like to break the rules I make. I like to keep it unrefined, in the state of a rough draft, long enough, so that I can observe my own development. And in that sense, I am my art. 

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And I am your art.

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That seems like a good place to end; however, I'd like to add that statements often don't mean anything unless they keep changing. They have that quality of being dynamic yet universal and permanent as well because the progress can only be seen by how the changes occur. The work shows the change. And so this will continue to change.

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I have added a separate section for manifestos under words, but I'd like to mention them here as there are so many similarities. Statements suggest a degree of individuality whereas manifestos are like constitutions for art. These constitutional manifestos are intended to speak for artists though I do think artists speak for manifestos just as much. I look to the manifestos of established artistic movements for inspiration and meaning and I look to my statement and my manifestos as interpretations. Whether or not they say anything new or original, or add any insight or meaning is up to you to decide. For me, it's about constantly striving to express an authentic version of my truth. To be honest, and real.

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That is what I think I mean by I am your art, in that the truth - any truth, and my truth - only has any value if you see it, hear it, touch it, smell it, experience it. That is, I believe, my job as an artist. To try and make you experience my truth in whatever way possible.

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And my truth is made up of many lies and truths.

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I didn't want to end with quotes, but I can't help myself - they say so much of what I am trying to articulate - if you've read this far and would like to know where they are from you can look it up. Here they are:

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"Why did you lie to me? - I thought I always told the truth. - Why did you lie to me? - Because the truth lies like nothing else, and I love the truth."

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"The absence of any known restrictions allows [her] the perspective of several lives lived at once; this illusion becomes firmly rooted within her. Everything is near at hand, the worst material conditions are fine. The woods are white or black, one will never sleep."

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